Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
