If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I queefed so loud it echoed.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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