If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
