the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
