glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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