I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
