People with herpes should wear stickers.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
