Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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