U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
