I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
