Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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