He is an equal opportunity slut.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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