that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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