Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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