Who wears a wallet chain?!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
