just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
