quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
