You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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