i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
