Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Damn victory sex feels great
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