Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
