I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Randomize
