Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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