Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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