Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
