True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
