I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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