I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
