I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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