you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
