69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
