community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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