Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
