"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
