I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
