he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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