We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
