a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's blow job season.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
