someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
