yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
