i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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