I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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