Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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