Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
