Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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