We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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