so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
