You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
