is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
