i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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